Why the Hate for Insta-love? | Rants & Rambles

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Rants & Rambles is a weekly feature where I share my own personal thoughts and opinions about both bookish and blogging related topics. As stated, these are MY OWN opinions and while you can choose to disagree with it, I hope that you at least respect it.

This week on Rants & Rambles I want to discuss:


Insta-love, the most hated trope of them ALL!

Before I started blogging, I never gave much thought to “how” relationships formed between love interests in books. As long as there WAS a relationship, I was happy. I guess I’m just a sucker for love! 

But since I started blogging, I’ve noticed that the pace at which a relationship unfolds can affect how one rates a book. Time and time again, I’ve seen reviewers knock off points, or even straight out DNF a book just because the romance was “too insta-love-y”.

While I too have my own issues with insta-love, I have to say I much prefer insta-love OVER angst any day. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good slow burning romance and while they are great reads, most of the time I’m just left wanting MORE! If I am reading a book and things are taking too long to happen between our potential couple, I get bored easily. I don’t want to spend the whole time just yelling at my eReader “KISS HER ALREADY!” I want hot and heavy and I want it NOW!

One thing that annoys me the most about the whole insta-love debacle is the main reasoning for WHY there is so much hate: IT’S NOT REALISTIC! I beg to differ. Love at first sight? It is very real and it does happen. I know a few old-timers who can attest to to this notion and I think that being able to tell your grandchildren that you knew that you had met “the one” when you first saw one another “from across a crowded room” is so sweet and romantic. Some couples are able to make it last and I don’t think that their relationship should be discounted just because they didn’t have to “struggle” to find love, their soulmate, their happily ever after!

Instead of saying that insta-love in not realistic, I think that it would be more appropriate to say that insta-love IS NOT IDEAL! Not everyone falls in love this way, especially in this day in age. People want to get TO KNOW each other before they jump head first into relationship because (1) there are A LOT of crazies out there and (2) love has become a type of investment, more so now than it was in the past. There is just more at stake, more factors, like technology and social media, that play an important role when it comes to relationships. 

But when it comes to books, I don’t feel that it is ALWAYS necessary to have  ideal romances. I mean it’s fiction, if I wanted a dose of reality I wouldn’t need to read. So I don’t mind it that much when there’s insta-love. It can be quite entertaining. The more cheese the better! Saying that the romance was not realistic just doesn’t cut it for me as a good enough reason for why a book is not worth the read.  

I do however have TWO scenarios where insta-love is a BIG NO!

♥ Insta-love & Mental Illness 

Can we please, for the love of everything that is good, please STOP romanticizing mental illness. I don’t like books where we have MCs that are struggling with real issues and in walks the “knight in shining armor” to save the day and cure them of their pain. REALLY?! These MCs are learning how to love themselves, HOW THE HELL do you expect them to love someone else if they can’t even love themselves?! I hate this so much. I don’t mind there being a romance, but this is where slow-burning romances work best because it just make more sense!

♥ Insta-love in Fantasy/Paranormal Books 

I read A LOT of contemporaries, so I get my insta-love fix from those books. So when I pick up a fantasy or paranormal book, I am not reading it for romance; I WANT ACTION! I want adventure, plot twist, betrayal, & BLOOD! It’s just a turn off for me, especially when there is that “special connection” and it’s only the first chapter. The romance is a plus in these types of books, but when they become the main plot of the book, I get annoyed.

These are just my feelings towards insta-love. I don’t hate it as much as other bloggers do and there are some books that do have a pretty decent insta-love relationship. My main point is that insta-love is a reality for some, it’s just not ideal for the majority, so quit hating on the trope and saying that it is unrealistic.

That is all for this week’s Rants & Rambles. I hope you enjoyed my random thoughts!

Do you think insta-love is as bad as everyone makes it out to be?

Let me know in the comments!



Posted by

I'm Ari, a local NYC bibliophile and a forever daydreamer. You can usually find me with my nose buried in a book and my head up in the clouds. I am also a coffee addict and a chocolate connoisseur. I fell in love with the romance genre about three years ago and I haven't been able to stop reading about happily-ever-afters, which is ironic because I'm a bit of a cynical romantic in real life, haha. I hope you all enjoy my blog and fangirling with me about all the smutty reads!

8 thoughts on “Why the Hate for Insta-love? | Rants & Rambles

  1. I’m so the opposite on you with this haha. (Though I definitely agree about the mental illness bit).

    I believe in insta-attraction and insta-connection but not insta-love. I think time needs to develop. It used to bother me a lot but if I can see why a couple might have an insta-love, I would be a little more lax.

    I like sexual tension in my books. I like the frustration that comes from “why don’t you kiss already!?!” — though there reaches a certain point where it crosses that line it just becomes annoying. Depends on the story.

    As for paranormal, I almost come to expect insta-love because they can easily claim there is a supernatural/unexplained reason/excuse for insta-love. Werewolf novels are the absolute worst for this with all their “basal instincts”…ugh

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LMAO at the werewolf example because this it true. Twilight = imprinting!

      I think when we look at insta-love, we’re looking at some type of “deep connection”, but infatuation is considered a type of love and I think that’s why I don’t have so much of an issue with it. Puppy love in YA, I’ve seen that play out in real life and being able to feel such emotions, even if it is for just a short period of time can be beautiful. It’s not ideal though, but I don’t think insta-love deserve all the hate it gets.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love that you wrote this but I just can’t agree lol. I think I personally don’t like insta-love because I think that you can’t fall in love with someone by looking at them. In a way I guess “Insta-attraction” is something I can accept. I also think that you can meet “the one” and not know for a while that its that person ya know? When I was in high school, even though I still thought it was unrealistic, insta-love books like Nicholas Sparks and stuff were my guilty pleasure reads lol. Good choice for a discussion topic!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve always associated insta-love with infatuation and since it is considered a type of love, I think it’s possible for people to fall in love. It may not be a deep connection, but being able to feel such strong emotions for someone, even if it is just for a short period is still something. It’s not ideal, but it’s not unrealistic. It is rare and I just can’t hate the trope as much as everyone else does.

      Thanks for reading! 🙂


  3. I don’t really have a problem with insta-love as long as it’s written properly. I do agree that love at first sight is realistic, but the problem I have with some authors who do it is that they think love at first sight = your forever. Nope. Definitely not. Yes, that guy is handsome and WHO ON EARTH COULDN’T FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM?!? But let us please take into consideration that our MC should then get to know him and see if he really is for her or not. Just because you fell in love with him at first sight desn’t mean he’s friendly, he’s nice, he’s heroic, he’s perfect, etc.

    Great post, Ari!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree with you! I’m not expecting a “forever” romance with insta-love. But loving someone for just a short period of time is possible. I just don’t think insta-love deserves all the hate it gets. Love at first sight is rare, but it happens to a few, but it’s not ideal for all.

      Thanks for reading! 🙂


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